Zen And A Bologna Sandwich

When I was in like the second or third grade, I was sitting in the back seat of the school bus because that's what the hoodlum kids would do.

There was this kid who lived just up the street from me who's real name was (and probably still is) Paul.

The reason for the following events what was not because he was fat, but because he was an annoying Pussy.

And he was apparently annoying me more than usual on that day.

I found a bologna and mayonnaise sandwich on the floor of the bus, which had probably been in the bus all day in the hot sun.

I unwrapped the bologna and mayonnaise sandwich from it's Clingwrap. I remember that it was Clingwrap, or a similar brand.

I opened the bologna and mayonnaise sandwich, and I smeared the mayonnaise side into his hair.

Upon hearing of the event, his mother called my mother, and it went like this…

"Misris Maaaartin. Would you please tell your son to stop smearing bologna and mayonnaise sandwiches into my son Paul's head on the school bus."

"Yes. I'll be sure to do that."

It's really cool when your parents are trying to scold you for doing something bad, but can't keep themselves from laughing, and in this case, actually mocking the boy's mother and the way she spoke on the phone. My mom is a nice lady and wouldn't normally do this, but we were both laughing so hard, there was no actual punishment.

I promised my mom that I would never smear a bologna and mayonnaise sandwich into the back of Paul's head ever again.

And I never did.

I took this photo in Prague, in 1998. It has nothing to do with the true story preceding it.

I think it may still be the best photo I've ever shot.